people, things, plans, and words seem to be constantly prodding at my decision to leave. there are many ppl i can't, not ready to or refuse to let go off. and before rj, i used to let my decision revolve around those of others. i stopped living for myself, but for others. choosing bcme was one of the best choices i ever made in my life, for myself. it gave me mel, suefaye, jeremy and junwee. and indirectly alot of other people too. and it gave me what i needed to finally escape. cos despite all that's good here, there is all that is bad too. i feel like i'm suffocating under the constant pressure of memories. so now, for the sake of my sanity. i think i'm gonna leave. it might be a less glorious path, but it doesn't determine my entire future. and what matters most, i think its going to make me happy, and bring me that peace that's been so elusive.

plus i'm tired of having to retrieve promises. leaving here, means distancing myself from people who have made and broken promises. saves me some heartache.